Thursday, May 26, 2005
Patience is more than a virtue
I used to think patience was something some lucky people had in their personality and some didn't. I used to wish that I was a more patience person but that I really couldn't do anything about it. I always needed what I needed immediately and instead of waiting for it I would make all kinds of back door plans to get it for me, even if I knew that what I was doing was taking a risk. For an example, my family was constantly being homeless. I would pray for God to send me and my family a home and then instead of waiting I would gather what little money I would have and get what I would get. I wouldn't wait for my husband to find a better paying job or for me to finish school. I would up and go and force whoever was with me to go too. We were always getting in debt because of that. I never understood why God just wouldn't instantly answer my prayers. To me faith was praying for God to do what I ask and expecting it. But faith really is believing in God no matter how long it takes and believing that your suffering is for the better. I also realized faith was thanking God for what I already had. That my children would go to well-baby check and come out fine, that no one kidnapped or hurt any of my children when I was away. That my husband loved me and was willing to sacrifice for me even when he didn't disagree. I had to learn this after years of harships and living from place to place. Today me and my husband just signed the lease to a home in Illinois. I took the time to place my life fully in God's hands and this beautiful home is my reward. We had horrible credit, and I thought that would stop us. But nothing can stop God. I now see life so very differently that I feel like a different person. Patience is more that a good quality that some acquire. Paitience and faith is a necessity. Without it you lose strength and it's hard make it. Thank God I made it. And will continue to make it, as I believe God will send the right career my way now that I am finished with school. and I won't try to force my way into any doors either. I will believe, I will wait and I will be patient. Hallelujah.